The Miracle Question: Why Are You Stuck? – Diabetic Muscle & Fitness

What you’re about to get into?

1300 words, 6-8 minute read.

Key Points

If you’re struggling to get motivated you don’t have enough reason to change.
Asking yourself good quality questions such as, “How will this help me?” or, “What problems do I face if I keep doing what I’m doing?” will help you identify short- and long-term benefits.
Self-awareness is a crucial skill for personal mastery.
Celebrating your wins is essential, no matter how big or small.

Everyone has a bad day.

No matter how hard you try life will throw all kinds of curve balls at you.

Emotional,

Financial,

Physical,

and Health.

For all of you reading this article, the daily, hour-by-hour management of diabetes is something you can probably relate to.

We’re all guilty of avoiding important things in the short term. For example,

Skipping the odd training session.

Not bothering to check our blood glucose levels 45-60 mins after eating.

Ordering a takeaway instead of cooking up a fresh meal from scratch.

Forgetting to pay the odd bill.

But what happens when we start avoiding important things over the long term?

The more we avoid, the more we feel anxious about what we are avoiding, and therefore we put it off for a bit longer…and so it goes on.

This article is going to talk about how you can improve your motivation and continue to progress towards your goals. It may be helpful to read it through, then go back and try out some of the exercises and answer some of the questions for yourself.

Throughout this article, I’ll give some examples of what you might want to change. All the techniques can be used to address any topic where you need a boost in motivation, whether that’s your diabetes management, training, diet or just about anything else in your life.

Identify why you are stuck and what you might want to change.

In Psychology, we often use the Miracle Question to help clients figure out exactly what they want, and why.

The Miracle Question question was originally devised by Steve de Shazer (1988) through the development of Solution focused therapy but has since been adopted across multiple models of therapy.

Ask yourself the following:

“Suppose that one night, while you are asleep, there is a miracle and the problem that you have is solved. When you wake up in the morning, what will be different that will tell you that the miracle has taken place?”

For example’s sake, let’s say your difficulty lies in motivating yourself to get up and train each day. Consider the following:

How would you feel when you wake up?
What would your thoughts be about training that day?
What would your actions be when you get out of bed? Would you put your gym kit on, or perhaps leave it in the car ready for when you finish work?
What would you be eating throughout the day?
What would you tell other people about your training?

Build a solid image of how successful training would look to you.

The purpose of this task is to help you see what you are aiming for and allows you to look past the obstacles, rather than focusing on them. (Metcalf, 2006)

Once you envisage your end goal, it’s easier to be able to implement changes by working backward to the present day.

If you’re really stuck…

If you’re struggling to motivate yourself try asking yourself the following questions,

What are the implications if you stay as you are now?

What makes it difficult for you to change right now?

What will the outcome be if you successfully make the changes that you seek?

Write down these answers and re-read them often.

Within psychotherapy, psychologists and therapists often use the technique of Motivational Interviewing to help clients make changes in their behaviour. This involves asking questions in a particular way, whilst listening out for positive change talk. Motivation Interviewing (Miller and Rollnick, 1991) was initially developed to support those struggling to overcome addiction, but is now widely used throughout healthcare and psychology. Although this intervention works best with a professional trained in this strategy, it can be useful to notice your own self talk to see if you’re helping or hindering your own motivation.

Start by noticing how you speak to yourself – this can take practice. It can be challenging to think about our thoughts, especially when we are being self-critical or self-defeating. For some people, this is completely normal, and feels natural.

Consider the Ghandi quote:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny”.

This is scarily accurate.

Start listening to your thoughts, paying attention in particular to thoughts such as:

“I wish I could lose weight”

“I want to train more”

Try to reframe these into more active talk, such as,

“I am going to lose weight”

“I am going to train X days per week”

Confirm your commitment to change in your thoughts, rather than using words and phrases like “I should, I could, I might & maybe”, start using words like “I can, I will, I’m ready to and I intend to”.

It can be really valuable to write these down and practice reframing them, as this is likely to be challenging at first and more difficult to do in your mind. For example:

“I could go to the gym 5 times this week” – reframe to – “ I can go to the gym 5 times per week”
“I might feel better if I don’t eat X” – reframe to – “I won’t eat X”.
“I could have more control of my levels if I test more” – reframe to – “I will have better control if I test X times per day”.

You must have a reason for your desire to change, For example, why would you go to the gym?

I’ll look better.

Improve my health.

Become Stronger.

Improve my confidence.

You could go on forever. Create a reason for the change in your actions.

If you find this difficult, ask a trusted friend for support. Often we’re much harsher on ourselves than we would be on others, and having an outside perspective can make things clearer. Always remember to reflect on your successes – regardless of how small; maybe you went to the gym when you were tired or, said no to that biscuit in the office. Small steps add up to big achievements, so it is important to acknowledge all the little things that have gone well recently. It’s not easy for even the most dedicated person to keep a good routine every day, so practise these small tips to keep your motivation on track!

Always remember to reflect on your successes – regardless of how small. Maybe you went to the gym for the first time in 5 weeks, maybe you tried getting a full 8 hours sleep for once, maybe you avoided eating biscuits for the first time on your break at lunch.

Small steps add up to big achievements, acknowledge all the little things that have gone well for you and celebrate your wins.

Take Home

Build a clear picture in your mind of what you want to achieve.
Pay close attention to your thoughts.
Ask yourself the miracle question.
Initiate active talk. I Will, I Can, I Must and I’m going to…
Acknowledge and celebrate your wins, no matter how big or small.

About The Author

Dr Abigail Nancarrow is a Clinical Psychologist working in neuropsychology and mental health in South West London / Surrey. She has lived with T1D for 14 years, and is passionate about supporting people living with long-term conditions to improve their psychological well-being.